I complained and it is great!

I begun writing my blog with a lot of complaining and expressing how my life was crap and how miserable I was. I felt whingey and I didn't know what was my thread. I'm so glad I did though! It allowed me to get it out of my system and to be honest with how I ~~feel~~ felt. I can see how important it is to have a space where I can spurt it out and stay honest with myself instead of burying my feelings and bottling up my emotions.

But as I am going with and into the fear, the worry, my personal break-up with my partner of 10 years and what is at the core of blockages that prevents me from bringing to others my best self, I begin to pull out my thread that has been there all along in front of me.

The most urgent stuff I need to deal with right now is my relationship with finance. I am so not literate about it! I have no asset, no savings, no mortgage, ... I have no clue about it and just hearing about financial lingo can throw me into brain freeze and fear. Whenever I have to deal with money, it feels like a drag. Of course sometimes I can imagine how much I could earn to make things better but it feels like a far away goal. And with no money I feel like in it's the snake that bites its own tail.

Thanks to my reading of Fabien and Patricia Chabreuil I understand little by little what my inner motivations are – what is driving me to do what I do and what are my challenges ahead. Reading Béatrice Chestnut clarifies even more the subtleties of the enneagram thanks to the subtypes in which she goes at great length. So I get to have a better idea on the practical application of the work I need to do in terms of (lack of) autonomy and co-dependency...

On my way!