Ok. This is my “return to my blog” post.
It's been a couple of months since I've published anything. I have been going through a lot. Some highs some lows and I was trying my best to keep up the paces. I hoped for some stuff to come through (jobs and studies) and while there were some positive signs, things fell through a number of times...
I just couldn't share anything with anyone. I felt stuck and I just couldn't share the bluryness, the anger and sadness of the situation I lived in, namely having no job, no finances, a breaking up... and a need to have my own space... fast.
I definitely went through the “I'm no good” mode. I kept on applying for jobs, doing my best to write the best letter and having a cv but it happened that it actually wasn't because of me but more of an age thing! For some jobs I was too old (45 years... gasp) and for the studies it was ok but because of how the government is sustaining more of the youngsters right now, well... I was too old again.
I really needed to change the status quo. While at the moment of writing, nothing concrete has yet happened, something is shifting in me – albeit slowly but surely – thanks to some great people I've encountered. I'm more than willing to look at what I need to bloom and not thinking of it as a far fetched long dream... I have a desire to align myself with the values I stand for and making it a reality in my own life.
What I want to set up as soon as possible is a movement-rich environment (yes I'm going with the furniture-free trend... wait! That's actually not a trend... or if it is well OK! I'm trendy then!) using low tech when I can for developping my creativity, zero waste to learn more about my consumerism, urban permaculture to act on creating some food for myself and eating a more diverse tasty and yet simple cuisine... and definitely developping more autonomy for myself.
I need to do this for my Self. I want to do it. Let's.