La Tortue Sur Un Fil

I need to be more specific about the challenges I face to really know which actions i need to undertake.

Yes. I love caring for others and I'm good at massages and understand what others feels but if i don't look into what i can only call my financial blockage, i won't evolve at all, no matter the skills I have or the potential or how great I am as a human being.

The truth is I am afraid of earning money. Just thinking about it makes my heart races faster, my stomach tighten and my head goes into freeze mode.
I judge myself for being inadequate and incapable. I'm not young anymore so the shame is even more so and I feel unable to take care of myself. Which impact my decision of (not) going abroad or studying or getting help to evolve. it is an ever spiralling pattern and I'm getting nowhere.

Actually, it has impacted relationship with my partner in such a deep way that we've decided to part away.